Are your partner and you having the same arguments over and over again? Do you feel like your relationship is out of control? Or, perhaps even worse, does the passion seem to be simply slipping away?
If your relationship feels stuck… If you’ve tried to work things out on your own only to find yourselves repeating the same unhelpful patterns, couples and marriage counseling can help you and your partner gain a better understanding of each other’s wants and needs, increase your mutual respect, facilitate and enhance your communication, and more readily move from conflict to enjoying the love and happiness you share.
I’ve worked with couples for more than 15 years and without a doubt the most common problem I have seen is communication. Most partners have difficulties either expressing themselves openly or listening to each other or both.
Because effective communication is the foundation for all successful relationships, most of the work I do with couples begins with helping them explore their communication processes – including the roles each partner is playing in their interactions with each other. This means my not only making sure that you communicate with one another openly, but also helping you really listen to each other as well.
In general, the couples counseling services I provide at Los Gatos Counseling Services proceed as follows:
- Your partner, you and I will meet for an initial session to discuss your goals and needs
- I’ll next meet with you and your partner individual for one session each to conduct individual assessments
- Then all three of us will meet together to discuss the likely length of our work together and begin the process of identifying the source of communication difficulties and decreasing mutual blame
- Learn to observe and take ownership of your own thoughts and feelings
- Identify and work through unhelpful patterns in your relationship
- Make sure your relationship gets the time and attention it deserves while still leaving time for you to achieve your personal goals
Our relationships, to a large extent, define much of who we are and the lives we lead. Given how important relationships are to our happiness and fulfillment, shouldn’t you try to make yours the best it can be?
Couples counseling and therapy can help you:
- Resolve issues in a new relationship
- Revive the spark in an established partnership
- Prevent an impending divorce
- End a relationship on amicable terms
That having been said, if you’re considering couple counseling because you think all of your relationship problems will be solved if only your partner would “see the light,” think again. In order for couple counseling to be effective both your partner and you need to be willing to accept responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and how they affect each other and your relationship and be willing to change accordingly.
However, couples counseling does offer a unique opportunity to assess the state of your relationship as well as develop new ways for your partner and you to relate to one another and gain the knowledge, skills, and understanding necessary to repair your relationship, enjoy life together and move lovingly forward into the future.